Her Smile
by Mia June
Summary: Daryl x Connie (Donnie) after my version of the outcome of the Daryl vs. Beta fight
1. Winner

**I. Winner**

Daryl was sitting on the cold floor with his back against the wall. Blood was pouring out of his nose and he could feel its metallic taste in his mouth. Almost every part of his body was aching. The stinging pain in his chest was the worst and he was sure he broke a rib or maybe more than one. The fight was over but he didn't feel like a winner.

As soon as he saw Beta, he knew he couldn't win. Not with his fists at least. But even his knives didn't help him much. Beta was by far superior to him and during the fight Daryl knew Beta was going to kill him. And he was ready to die, ready to sacrifice himself for Connie and the kids. During his fight with Beta, they would have a chance to escape and they could survive. He wanted to protect them with his life, but in the end it was them, who saved him. Lydia came back and pleaded for Daryl's life. She distracted Beta and in the meantime Henry and Connie came and rescued Daryl. They ran away, ran until Daryl's feet didn't carry him anymore, so they had to hide in one of the buildings.

Now Daryl was sitting on the floor, catching his breath and starring into space. Dog was sitting next to him, licking his hand and whining quietly, almost like he could sense Daryl's pain. Henry and Connie looked outside the window to check if there was somebody chasing them. But either they left the Whisperers far behind or the Whisperers didn't have the intention to follow them, once they got Lydia back. Daryl heard that someone was approaching him. He knew it was Connie, but he didn't look up. He felt a deep shame, felt like he had failed her. He knew she wanted to save Lydia and he felt bad for the girl, who had to go back to those monsters because of him. Connie crouched down in front of Daryl. She took a tissue and small bottle filled with water out of her bag and tried to wipe the blood out of Daryl's face. He instantly turned away from her and brought a grumpy "Don't" out which sounded harsher than he intended. But this didn't scare Connie away. Quite the opposite, she took Daryl's chin softly between her fingers and turned his head back, so he had to face her. Their eyes met and for one moment it was like time was standing still. Daryl felt like he was drowning in her dark eyes and overwhelmed by her faint smile he couldn't help but sitting still and starring at her while she gently cleaned his face from blood.

Henry came over to them, telling them that he didn't see anyone and maybe they were safe.

"I don't think so." Daryl made an attempt to get up and immediately regretted it, because the sharp pain drove through his body making him grimace. Connie must have noticed it, she made a movement with her hands, palms down to the floor, telling Daryl to sit down. Driven by pain Daryl obeyed.

"Okay, a couple more minutes, but then we're gone." He couldn't suppress a groan that followed his words. He was in pain.  
While Henry returned to the window, Connie took out her notepad and wrote something. She showed it to Daryl.

_You are hurt. You should rest. _

"No." Daryl couldn't accept that, but he could see the protest in Connie's eyes.

"Listen, they could still be out there..." he pointed with his finger outside, "...following us. It's not safe." He tried to make the last three words sound as clear as possible. The sharp pain in his chest returned and while he put one hand on his chest, he turned his head away, so that Connie wouldn't see the expression of pain in his face.

"Maybe you should..." he muttered mostly to himself.

Then he faced her again. Connie looked concerned.

"Look. You should go. Go back to Hilltop and tell 'em what happened. I stay here."

Connie just shook her head.

"YES," Daryl insisted.

Connie wrote a _NO_ in capital letters and three exclamation marks behind it on her notepad and showed it to Daryl. Dog barked suddenly like in agreement with Connie.

Daryl sighed.

"Don't be stupid," he told her.

Connie underlined the _NO!_ and showed it to Daryl.

Then she wrote: _We're not leaving anyone behind. THAT'S STUPID!_

"Yeah, and what 'bout Lydia?"

Henry turned his head as he heard Lydia's name.

"You should've run away. All of ya. Instead of savin' me," Daryl said dryly.

"She wanted to be back with her people." Henry suddenly interfered.

"She realized that she belonged with them, not with us." There was a lot of sorrow in his voice as he spoke.

"And we couldn't leave you behind. We need you. People back at Hilltop do, my mom does. Everyone."

Connie nodded approvingly.

Daryl looked at them. He didn't think Henry was right and he didn't feel like he deserved that people cared about him. But there wasn't time for self pity right now, he had to focus and to find his strength again. They also needed a plan.

"Alright," he said thoughtfully. He stood up and the movement took almost all his strength, but he tried to ignore the rising pain in his body along with Connie's protests. He went to the window and looked outside. Dog got up and followed him loyally.

"It's getting dark," Daryl noticed. Then he checked the streets. There was only one walker wandering between the houses, everything was calm. He checked the surroundings and realized they picked a good hiding place. There were several exits they could take to escape if they noticed something suspicions. The good thing was that the Whisperers never ran. They always kept pace with the walkers and even if Daryl thought he probably couldn't outrun a walker in the physical state he was in, it was the best idea to stay until the night was over, instead of running through the streets in the dark.

"Okay, we spend the night here. And tomorrow we go back."

Both Henry and Connie agreed.

"We take watch, still need to see what's happening outside, "Daryl continued.

"I take the first shift," Henry said.

"You sure?" Daryl asked him.

"Yes, you both should rest and you need the rest the most."

Daryl knew Henry was right.

"Alright, but no stupid shit like running away again."

"No, I promise." He made a pause "I get it now. It WAS pretty stupid."

"Yeah." Somehow Daryl felt sorry for Henry who looked very depressed. And he still felt bad for Lydia.

"Hey." Daryl put a hand on Henry's shoulder. Henry turned to him.

"We'll get her back," Daryl told him calmly.

Henry's face lit up.

"Really?" he asked and Daryl nodded.

"But how?"

"I dunno yet… But we figure sumthin' out." Daryl looked in Connie's direction, she smiled and nodded.

Daryl didn't even notice that he was smiling back. Her smile seemed to ease the pain in his body a little bit.

"Let's get some sleep," he said finally.

Connie and Daryl sat down on the floor next to each other. Dog lay down at Daryl's side. Connie took her bag off and handed it to Daryl. He took it and looked a bit confused at her, so she put her palms together holding her hands beneath her ear implying that he could use the bag as a pillow. Daryl understood and before he could contradict her, he saw the look on her face that told him she tolerated no dissent. Daryl felt too exhausted to argue, so he just told her "Thanks" in a soft voice. He put the bag under his head before lying down on the floor. Connie lay down next to him.

Even though he was exhausted and had a hard time to keep his eyes open, Daryl couldn't sleep.  
The pain in his body became a bit numb but it was still prominent, the floor felt hard and uncomfortable and the thoughts in his head were bothering him. He felt guilt because he couldn't safe Lydia. But there was also something else. Between all the pain and guilt there was a glimpse of hope rising in him. No matter how bad all of it seemed, somehow he was confident that they would be able to safe Lydia again. They went through hell and lost so much, but this time... this time they would win.

Daryl finally fell asleep but it wasn't for long and when he opened his eyes, Connie was lying next to him, facing him and opened her eyes almost in the same moment as he opened his. She was so close, he could smell a faint sweet scent coming from her. And then they were just lying there and looking each other deep in the eyes. No one even dared to move. Daryl almost forgot to breathe, because he was so caught up in the moment.

_It's because of her_, he slowly realized. She gives me hope, makes me more confident. She's so fascinating, a deaf woman surviving in this world and she has always that smile on her face. That smile. It says everything's possible.

Her face was only centimeters away from his and suddenly he had this thought that he could touch it. Gently run his fingers through her hair. He almost laughed out loud because this thought seemed so ridiculous and crazy to him.

And then, almost like she had read his thoughts, she reached out and her hand touched his cheek gently, like a butterfly touches a flower. And in this moment Daryl felt like a winner.


	2. Have You Ever Been In Love?

**II. Have You Ever Been in Love?**

Daryl woke up when the sun was already up. He narrowed his eyes to a slit since the bright light was dazzling him. Daryl got up in a sitting position and looked at Dog who was awake too. Dog looked at Daryl in anticipation and Daryl patted his head. The pain in Daryl's body didn't disappear over night and it wasn't easy for him to get up, but he finally did. Henry was lying on the floor, still sleeping and when Daryl looked up he saw Connie sitting by the window. All at once the memories of the last night hit him like a bullet. How they were looking at each other, how she smiled at him and softly touched his cheek. Was it only a dream? It had to be. But then Connie turned her head and gave him her familiar smile and he knew he hadn't dreamed it. Besides the pain he felt something strange, it felt like butterflies were filling his stomach when he approached Connie. Daryl didn't know what to think about it.

"Everything's quiet out there?" he asked her and his rough voice was shacking a little bit without his intention. Connie nodded. She handed Daryl a bottle full of water and he thanked her. He was happy about the cold liquid which moistened his dry throat. While he was drinking, Connie wrote something on her notepad.

_How are you feeling?_

"Better," Daryl lied and Connie raised an eyebrow in disbelief. He was a bad liar and she was too good in reading people, he would never be able to fool her.  
But even though the pain didn't go away he felt a little bit more rested and not as exhausted as the day before, so it wasn't a complete lie.

"I'm good to go," he said then. Connie still looked concerned, but they both knew, they couldn't stay in this building forever. They didn't have enough supplies with them, so either they had to find new supplies or go back to Hilltop. Daryl knew it would take them almost a day to get back and it wouldn't be an easy walk, at least not for him. But if they didn't want to spend another night out here they should leave now.  
So they woke Henry and after checking the streets, where the lonely walker got some company, they decided to go. Connie and Henry took care of three walkers. Daryl shot the fourth one with his crossbow, but he missed.

"Damn it," he murmured and felt a little bit ashamed about that. That didn't happen so often.

Connie shot the walker right in the head. Then they moved quickly and cautiously through the streets. Connie and Henry were fast and Daryl was always behind them. He wanted to keep pace with them and tried his best to, but he still wasn't at his full strength yet. The crossbow felt heavy in his arms and a couple of times he felt nauseous.

_C'mon, pull yourself together_, he said to himself.

After many hours have passed and the sun was high up in the sky he suddenly began to feel dizzy. He tripped and fell forwards. He was able to break his fall with his hand and knee and groaned as the pain drove once again through his body. Connie and Henry instantly turned back and came running. Again Daryl felt some shame rising. He was always the strong one, it was unusual that others had to come to help him. But they didn't mind. Henry asked him if he was okay while Connie handed him a bottle of water again and then sat by his side while he was drinking, softly patting his back. Dog looked concerned too and whined a little bit.  
Connie helped Daryl to get up and supported him while he was walking.  
Daryl wanted to protest, but he knew he probably couldn't walk without her help. He couldn't help but feel ashamed about it though. What would she think of him?

_You're a little pussy that's what you are! _

Even if his brother died long ago, his mocking voice stayed forever in Daryl's ears and he could hear Merle mocking him again. In his mind Daryl told him to shut up.  
Even if the situation offended his pride, it had something good to it. Being so near to Connie and feeling her warm body supporting him was giving him butterflies and from times to times he almost forgot about the pain. This feeling was new to him. For a long time he didn't like people to touch him at all and it took him very long to accept physical affection and enjoy being hugged by his family members. But this, this was something completely new and different and again he didn't know what to think about it.

On their way back they encountered several walkers. When they reached Hilltop it was almost dark again. They saw three walkers outside the walls and while Connie and Henry took care of two of them, Daryl aimed and shot one of them in the head. He didn't miss this time and Connie gave him a thumbs up. Daryl grinned like a little kid and felt stupid in the next moment about it.

When they finally reached Hilltop Enid took care of Daryl's wounds and like he already assumed, told him that he probably broke some ribs. But he knew as well that they would heal on their own, it wasn't the first time he received such a severe beating.

Hilltop didn't possess any painkillers, so Enid proposed he should take things slowly in the next time and rest. He thanked her and went outside. Everyone was happy Daryl, Connie and Henry returned safely from their trip, so the Hilltopers were preparing a big meal for everyone to celebrate their return.

Connie sat at the table surrounded by her friends. They were all talking partly loud, partly in sign language and laughing a lot. Daryl couldn't help but feel a little bit disappointed, seeing them monopolizing her completely, even though he could understand that. They were her family and who was he? Just an outsider to them and a travel companion to her. And now their mutual travel had come to an end. He sat down at the opposite side of Connie, watching her. Dog lay down to his feet. The poor animal seemed to be exhausted. During the dinner Connie was so engaged with her friends, she seemed hardly to take notice of Daryl, who longed for her to look at him and maybe give him another smile. But this time he didn't receive it. Tired and disappointed he went up to his 'penthouse suite', Dog followed him and both of them were yawning at the same time.

Inside, Daryl was surprised to see Henry sitting there, knees to his chest. Now he realized that the boy hasn't been at the dinner table with them.

Henry looked up.

"I miss her", he said with teary eyes.

Daryl sighed and sat down next to him.

"I know," he said calmly.

"How can this be. Her mom is treating her badly and the people she's with are monsters and still she would rather be with them than with me."

Daryl thought about Henry's words for a moment.

"Sometimes your family treats you like shit, but you stay with'em because you know... They're blood. They're everything you have." Daryl thought about how it took him so many years to finally find the courage to leave his abusive father. And he knew, if his brother was still alive, he would probably stay with him, no matter how much of an asshole he was.

Henry looked up to him.

"I know, if we tried to get her back, these people would come and maybe kill some of our people. Maybe there would be even a war. I don't want this. But I don't want her to stay with those monsters either."

Daryl nodded. It was complicated and he was glad that Henry finally understood the whole situation. He was as much conflicted as him.

"I think, I love her," Henry finally said.

Daryl didn't answer, just starred into space. He didn't know much about love.

"Have you ever been in love?" Henry asked him. He waited but he didn't get an answer. Daryl seemed to be caught up in his own thoughts. Henry wasn't even sure, if he had heard his last question. Henry stood up.

"You must be tired", he told Daryl and this time he got a reaction, Daryl looked up to him and said: "Yeah." His voice sound tired.

"Sorry I kept you away from sleeping. I'm going to bed now. Good night."

Henry walked off as Daryl told him: "Night."

Daryl lay down in the hay. It was much more comfortable than the cold floor in the building the day before and still he couldn't enjoy it. Besides Dog, who was already sleeping and snoring next to him, he was alone again. There was nobody who would fall asleep next to him and be awake with him in the next morning. Nobody who would look so deep in his eyes, almost like she was able to read his soul. Nobody who would smile at him and warm his whole body like a ray of sunlight with that smile.

_Have you ever been in love?_

Henry's words were haunting Daryl's thoughts. And when he closed his eyes he could see Connie's face before him. That beautiful face of a strong and smart woman. How could he think, someone like her would even like him? Feel more for him than just pity or friendship? He didn't deserve that. And she deserved someone better.

_Have you ever been in love?_

But why did she care about him that much? Why did she touch his face so gently yesterday? It wasn't a dream. Was that only because she felt sorry for him? Because he got beaten up like that, trying to protect her? And why was he even thinking so much about it. Love. What a stupid thing. It was only an illusion, only a thing people made up, to feel better. A thing, his brother would certainly mock him about, if he only pronounced that word. It was stupid. It was ridiculous. He should just stop thinking about it and sleep. There were certainly more important things to think about. Surviving. Keeping people safe. Connie saved him. She fucking saved him when he tried to save her. And then she smiled, she smiled so often at him when they were running for their lives, hiding, being in mortal danger. And that smile, it made everything better. He would kill for one of those smiles. But maybe she will never smile at him again. She will never notice him again. She's with her family now, they will never let her go again. Never would they accept him as…

_Okay, stop it. Stupid thoughts. I have to sleep. I have to rest, so STOP IT!_

_Have you ever been in love?_


	3. Just A Stupid Piece Of Paper

Dog woke Daryl early in the morning, licking Daryl's hand. Daryl yawned.

"It's okay boy, stop it," He told him and got up.

He realized that he felt better a little bit. His strength was slowly coming back and the pain became less. He yawned again and followed Dog outside, who was answering the call of nature.

The sun was shining and the birds were singing in the trees. The fresh morning air made Daryl shiver and the air he was breathing out transformed in little white clouds. It was colder than usual and certainly Winter wasn't far away.

Some Early Birds were also up already, working at the garden and doing laundry, but the most people were still sleeping.

Daryl sat down at the table outside, still not fully awake yet, when he noticed a little notepad lying there. He knew it belonged to Connie. He had watched her several times, using it to write notes for him. She must have forgotten it on the table. It laid there alone and abandoned...Just like him.

Daryl rolled his eyes at this thought and realized how pathetic he was having thoughts like that.

Nevertheless he picked up the notepad. Maybe the notes she wrote for him in the last couple of days were still there and maybe he could take them without her noticing it.

_That's so stupid_, he thought, but checked the notepad either way. Unfortunately all notes were gone and he only saw blank pages. Suddenly he had an idea. He would write something. Something like _Thank you for everything_ And then he would give the notepad back to her. Maybe she missed it.

Maybe she missed him.

Daryl took the pen and started nervously playing with it. No, he wanted to write more than just a simple thank you. But what? Every time when he put the pen down to the paper and wanted to write something, the right words just didn't come to his mind. He didn't want to sound cheesy, but he didn't want to sound distant either. That woman saved his life. He owed her. Maybe he should just do it. Confess his feeling to her. What if she felt the same? What if it was the best idea he ever had?… Or the worst. Also, he has never done this before, never wrote a letter to anyone and never confessed his feelings to a person. And doing both things combined seemed impossible at the moment. What if she laughed at him? But no, Connie would never do that. Would she? He looked down where dog was looking at him with anticipation.

"What you think 'bout it, boy?" He asked and Dog barked like he would encourage him to do it.

"I dunno." Daryl sighed and laid his head on the table. The cool wind brushed through his hair and as he closed his eyes he could see her face again before him. Her dark thoughtful eyes and her soft smile that always got him. Her face became such a vivid picture in his head. She wasn't someone he had to protect, even if he wanted to. She was deaf but so strong and powerful, he couldn't believe how such an amazing human being could exist in this ugly world.

Suddenly he raised his head, the pen in his hand touched the paper and he began to write. He tried to write neatly and clearly, but hardly managed because he wrote so fast, afraid he would forget the words he wanted to bring down to paper, if he was too slow. He also had to cross out some words he wrote wrong, because he wrote so hastily. When he finished and read through the written words once again, he knew, he couldn't express it much better. He was so focused on the writing he didn't notice that Connie was approaching him. As soon as he saw her, he went hot and cold at once. Hastily he teared the page, he had written on, off the notepad, crumpled it up in his hand and hid it behind his back, in the hope Connie didn't see it. No, he wasn't ready to confess his feelings yet.  
She came over to the table and gave him the most adorable smile he ever received. He was beyond happy in that moment. He stood up and greeted her with a "Good morning." Then he saw that she looked at the notepad in his hand.

"Oh, you must've forgotten this." He told her and handed it to her.

She took it and pressed it to her chest like it was the most valuable treasure she possessed. Then she put her flat hand to her lips and then moved it forward in Daryl's direction which meant: _Thank you_.

Daryl felt the butterflies in his stomach again and smiled nervously.

In that moment Dog stood up and moved towards Daryl, who was still holding the crumbled page in his left hand behind his back. Dog nudged Daryl's closed fist with his cold, wet nose. Daryl span around and told him: "Out!"

But dog didn't even think to obey. Expecting a treat in Daryl's hand or maybe just intentionally wanting to screw Daryl up, he started licking Daryl's hand. Aromatically Daryl moved the hand away from Dog and Connie looked suspiciously at Daryl's closed hand.

"Oh that's nothing," He said and hid his hand behind his back again, but Connie seemed not to believe him, and Dog, such a traitor, started to bite Daryl's hand softly.

"Stop it!" Daryl cried out and Connie started laughing.

She moved her right hand in front of her with the palm up, implying that Daryl should give her whatever he was hiding in his hand.

"It's nothing, really. Just a stupid piece of paper."

Dog didn't want to let go, he wanted to play and when Daryl tried to get his hand away from Dog, Dog followed the hand licking, biting it softly and even jumped up when Daryl put his hand up in the air. Daryl was getting more and more nervous while Connie was holding her stomach, she couldn't help but laughing very hard at this. Daryl said: "Bad dog!" and laughed too a little bit, but it sounded very tense. After a while he became a little bit tired and when he told Dog: "Out" and "Sit" in a strict voice, Dog instantly understood that it was serious now and obeyed. Daryl sat down at the table catching his breath. His hand was still closed around the crumpled paper, but he made the mistake holding both hands in front of him. Connie sat down at the opposite side of Daryl. Her finger slightly touched Daryl's closed hand when she pointed at it. It made Daryl shiver.

"Like I said, it's nothing." He sighed but then he saw the anticipation in her eyes.

"Alright", he said and thought: _It's All or nothing now_. He slowly opened his hand and she took the crumpled page of it. She smoothed it and started to read.

Daryl watched her nervously as her eyes flew over the written words and a slight smile touched her lips. His heart was beating so fast he thought it could jump out of his chest any minute. She looked up and their eyes met. He tried to figure out what she was thinking, but he couldn't. She took the pen and started writing something. She was sitting across the table and no matter how much Daryl tried, he couldn't see what she wrote. But he didn't dare to stand up and to come closer. It wasn't much what she wrote, but as soon as she was finished, her friends came walking towards them. They seemed to have celebrated a bit too much last night and were way too loud, talking and laughing. Connie's attention went automatically towards them. Daryl was so tensed and he wanted to know her answer, he couldn't figure out what they all were talking about, he only heard the word _breakfast_. Then Kelly made Connie stand up and tucked her arm into hers. Magna did the same with Connie's other arm and they lead Connie away from Daryl. Connie turned her head to Daryl and he was sure there was an apologizing look on her face.

Only Luke stayed behind. He looked at Daryl.

"Sorry man, my friends are a bit overexcited. We're all just so happy that Connie is back, you know. Kelly made her favorite breakfast."

After a pause he added: "You want to come too? There's enough for everyone."

"Sure, thanks." Daryl nodded even if he was a bit insecure, he was happy being invited into Connie's "inner circle" and he was still curious about her answer. Luke clapped him on the shoulder when they were walking towards the breakfast table, Dog followed them.

Connie was sitting next to her sister, but the place at her right side was free. When she saw Daryl approaching, her smile became even brighter and she patted the bench next to her looking Daryl in the eye, implying that he should sit down there next to her.

Connie put a couple of eggs, some roasted tomato slices and bread on a plate and handed it to Daryl. Then they were all eating, talking about some situations they all been in together and Daryl felt a little bit like an outsider. He couldn't take part in the conversation and new groups always made him nervous. So he tried to concentrate on the food, but could barely bring something down, since his appetite seemed to be gone.

He also had the feeling that everyone was watching him. While he was holding the fork in his right hand, his left hand was placed on the bench. Suddenly he felt a soft touch. He looked down and saw that Connie placed her hand right next to his. He looked at her and their eyes met. Then she moved her hand and he noticed there was piece of paper touching his fingertips. He took it in his hand.

"We didn't thank you yet, for saving our girl", said Luke suddenly to Daryl.

Daryl startled up and looked around him, all eyes ware on him.

"Actually..." he started a bit uncertain and looked at Connie. "Actually she saved me."

"That's our girl", Magna stated and both she and Yumiko smiled.

Connie started shaking her head looking a little bit embarrassed.

"Yeah, she did." Said Daryl and there was admiration in his voice.

"Or maybe you saved each other?" suggested Luke.

Daryl and Connie exchanged a meaningful smile. After the breakfast everyone was busy to clean up the table. Connie picked up a couple of empty plates too, when Luke stopped her and took them from her.

"It's okay, we got it," he told her, winked at her and looked in Daryl's direction. She gave him a thankful smile.

In the meantime Daryl took the chance to finally read what Connie wrote on the piece of paper in his hand. His curiosity was killing him. At first he caught sight of the words he wrote in a sloppy handwriting.

_You're amazing! I've no words and can never thank you enough for saving my life.  
__I would do anything for you. Go anywhere for you.  
__Maybe you're thinking that's stupid, but that's just how it is.  
__Henry asked me yesterday if I ever was in love. I guess I never was… until now.  
__Daryl_

And then in neatly small letters he saw her answer:

_I feel exactly the same!_

When Daryl finished reading, everyone from Connie's group was gone except of her. She was still sitting next to him, patiently waiting for him to read her answer. He looked up at her, drowning in her eyes again. He wanted to say something, but his mind was just a big mess. He felt like he was riding a carousel which was going far too fast.

_C'mon say something,_ he tried encouraged himself in his mind, but couldn't think of the right thing to say.

But Connie didn't expect him to say anything, she just leaned forward and kissed him softly on the lips. The kiss caught him by surprise, just like his feelings for her did.

And he realized that maybe there wasn't anything more left to explain. Words were only words, written on a stupid piece of paper.


End file.
